The Boyfriend smokes. I absolutely hate that, because 1) it’s just bad for his health, meaning he’s probably going to die far too young and 2) it just smells bad. When I was a wee little child, smoking used to just be something my yellow-toothed uncle did; I was used to it. But at some point, the smell triggered asthma-like symptoms in me; one being the sudden lack of the ability to breathe.

Needless to say, I didn’t expect that I could ever tolerate a boyfriend who smokes. Which I don’t, really. He doesn’t smoke around me and pretends he’s trying to quit. He actually does insist that yes, he is trying to quit and that he doesn’t actually enjoy smoking. Which, of course, means he’s an addict.

For my part, I pretend like I don’t know he’s smoking when I’m not around, which works fine. I mean, if I were going to either live with him, or if I had any plan to marry him when I get older, I’d probably be a little more upset about it. But I don’t really have any control over what he does; quitting is something he has to decide for himself, not for his girlfriend.

Think of the practicality of it; if the only reason he quits is because I said so, he’ll just start doing it again when we break up, which, in no way or form, is any good for him at all. And I think I regard him a little more highly than that.

Although, I don’t know what that says about our relationship now if we’re just playing this “not really not smoking” game; he did at one point give me his cigarettes so I could regulate his intake. Of course, every time he asked for a cigarette I felt like an enabler, a dirty drug dealer huddled in the corner of a high school selling marijuana out of her ripped Jansport backpack.

Anyway, we’re back to square one: a boyfriend who smokes and a girlfriend who tolerates it even though, in actuality, she hates that. The smoking, not the boyfriend. I can generally ignore smoking in other people, but when I have to kiss the guy… well, that gets a little iffy. (Not that I let him kiss me if he even REMOTELY smells like ashes.)

Posted on March 26th, 2008 by Joy
Filed under: Boyfriend | 4 Comments »