A Spanking Ban?
Sally J. Lieber, a state assemblywoman of California, plans to introduce a bill that would outlaw spanking of children three years old or younger. As you can imagine, this sparks quite a bit of debate among parents and lawmakers alike.
Supporters of the bill don’t believe there is any excuse to hit a child so young:
Proponents of such laws argue that spanking — especially for young children, who cannot connect the punishment to the crime — is ineffective at best, and cruel at worst.
This is true to the extent that it is true. Let me explain that. Young children understand that Mommy or Daddy is hurting them, but they don’t necessarily understand why Mommy or Daddy is hurting them. Some parents try to treat their children like miniature adults, in that they assume their children understand what is “right” and “wrong.”
But can you really expect something like that from a child? Small children don’t necessarily do what their parents don’t want them to do on purpose. Yes, some of them “test” to see how much they can get away with, but what if it’s a new behavior? What if the child uses his crayons to draw all over the living room wall, but hasn’t done so before? Then corporal punishment is probably not the answer here. Actually, the parent should try to explain to the child what was done wrong. That, of course, is a problem in itself, but it is better than hitting a child.
Of course, there is the other side to consider, as Republican Bill Maze points out:
Disciplinary action is up to the parents.
Okay, but when does “disciplinary action” cross over into the realm of “child abuse?” There’s a shady line. I mean, people have been justifying spousal abuse for years (which is a point that Lieber makes), and only now it seems unacceptable to most people. Is that what has to happen to the children in America?
Perhaps if I were a parent, I would have a better grasp of the situation. Right now, I don’t see anything wrong with the bill. It actually seems like a good step to prevent child abuse.
Posted on January 20th, 2007 by Joy
Filed under: Family, Law, perspective
I agree with the bill.
I’ve been raised in a home that firmly believed in the physical aspect of discipline, at least until I reached my middle school years.
Did it do my parents any good? From my perspective, no. I often didn’t get why I was being punished, only that my parents seemed to be unreasonably angry. It didn’t help that it seemed like I got punished for the times that they were fighting with each other as well as for my own mistakes.
I just hope that parents will get the point of the ban (and kids too for that matter) and just start raising their kids to be understanding people who can correct themselves.
Yeah, I agree. I don’t see the reason children should get hit, especially when they’re not really sure why they are being hit in the first place.
It’s a slippery slope and a very narrow line between dictating to parents how they should raise their kids and preventing excesses that are physical abuse. There have to be limits. A child is not a small adult, it’s a child.
Personally speaking and many of my friends got spanked now and then when we were young… it hasn’t done us any harm. Other friends never ever got spanked. But, if I had kids (which I happily will not) I would not want to spank them. I sometimes feel sorry for parents, watching them trying desperately to control wild, undisciplined rude kids and failing miserably.
I’m not saying that spanking is the answer, but appealing to the “adult” in the kids doesn’t always work with all kids either. Now, of course, if you do anything to your kids they can threaten to have you up on charges… I am just glad I don’t have to make those choices. I’m not the most patient of people and it’s one of the reasons I decided that kids weren’t for me.
Britgirl — Yes, spanking doesn’t generally permanently scar a child, unless it is done repeatedly with increasing violence. I think it’s hard for a child to understand why they are being spanked in the first place, and parents shouldn’t expect their children to understand why, exactly, they’re being spanked.
I come from a culture where it is natural to beat their children in response to making mistakes. In fact, in primary schools, parents sanction teachers to carry rattan canes to punish their children if they didn’t finish their homework. This is natural. I do recall my parents telling me that when I was a young kid, I was spanked because I was spoilt. Eventually I turned out ok, maybe a little fearful, but like all asian children who went under the cane, respectful of their parents.
In truth, when I have kids, I will spank them when they go too far. It’s the balance of getting it right over the generations, what was alright back then might be a bit too harsh now, but even so…there is no school like the old school. In a culture where spanking children is normal, you know when it’s gone too far.
I haven’t been spanked, but I have cousins who have. I’m still respectful of my parents, quite possibly because my father had one of the worst glares in the world. It could make Medusa herself turn to stone, if he was so inclined to do say.
And you’re right, people would know when something has gone too far. That’s the hope, at least.
I have four kids and love them very much. I do have to wonder though with this bill (being in California).
Example ~ my son Stephen went to grab at the stovetop innocently enough to see what it was like. I slapped his hand QUICKLY in both response and in fear to be honest. There were four burners, all of which were going at once, so the front had the least dangerous pot there, but it was still a boiling pot and there was still a gas flame he could harm himself with. My response could have been a “spanking”. Stephen was 18 months old. My reasoning was that the child of that age does understand action=reaction. His curled lip and sad face were much better to see than a screaming toddler as I was rushing him to emergency.
I guess my question would be - would this too be considered “spanking?”. If not, what is? Would it be stated that the spanking that is illegal would be up to the responding officer to judge? Child abuse is illegal - period. I suppose my only question would be - who will define “spanking”?
Very interesting topic!
I’m not sure who will define spanking, but I think it would be silly to count a little slap on the hand, especially since there was very little in the way of time for you to do something to prevent him from hurting himself.
I do believe in the spare the rod spoil the child Philosophy, but also believe a child should not be hit while you are angry. Small children, spanking I do feel is wrong, holding them to calm them down is much better.
That’s true, that parents shouldn’t lash out in anger. I also think “spare the rod” in this day and age can be considered more than just spanking.
This politician is way off base. Discipline needs to be explained to the child and, of course, shouldn’t be done out of anger. Yes, parents can fail in this area but calling all discipline child abuse is nonsense.
I want legislators to put some teeth into laws protecting our children who are victims of sexual abuse. Judges who won’t sentence child molestors to at least a minimum sentence do much more harm than a whack on the buns given to a child who strays.
I agree that sexual abuse is a much more serious offense than a slap on the wrist. I also think that very, very small children don’t necessarily understand why they are being punished if they are merely being spanked.
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