Okay, no, I don’t hate shoes. I enjoy comfortable, very broken-in sneakers that fit my feet and don’t attempt to curl them into Chinese-like bound feet. The shoes that I hate are the tight, pointy-heeled monstrosities that women are expected to wear in business attire.

I admit, some of those shoes are cute and pretty and any number of other positive adjectives that generally make women melt at the knees when it comes to clothing and accessories. Unfortunately, shoes are meant to be worn. On the feet. Feet which are used to walk around. Outside. And inside. Everywhere. Since uggs have gone out of style (sadly), it’s not longer “proper” to be wearing comfortable footwear. Anywhere.

I generally wear my beaten sneakers just because it’s comfortable and I rather not have a blister on my toe everyday. However, I’m currently interning at a nearby middle school, and I have to look my spiffiest. The clothes are easy to put together, since I only own neutral tones in “nice clothes.” All my other passably nice clothes is in Hawai`i, so I could basically dress myself with my eyes closed here and still come out looking like I actually spent some time putting my look together.

But the shoes! The shoes are these boots that are half a size too small. They fit reasonably well when I wear pantyhose, but that, in itself, is a travesty because pantyhose is so not fun to wear. “So not fun” being my valley-girl imitation. Guys, stockings are basically suffocation tools for our legs. They’re supposed to give off the illusion that our legs are slimmer and sleeker than they really are. What they do is squeeze all of the air out of them. And yet, they manage to shrink your feet a size smaller.

And thus, I hate shoes. Well, the shoes people tell me I’m supposed to wear to look my nicest. And the worst part? I actually have pumps on order so I can wear black shoes that are actually my size.

Posted on January 31st, 2007 by Joy
Filed under: College