“i r not love u”
Text-messaging. Either it’s the greatest technological communication breakthrough since Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, or it’s going to be the demise of our language. Or any language, for that matter. Actually, this article basically states that misuse of texting is going to teach us to avoid awkward situations. Which I, unsurprisingly, talked about three months ago in response to an article about BYU.
But this article cites a psychological study that investigated people’s “attachment styles:”
Psychologists use attachment styles to describe how people approach romantic relationships.
People who were “anxiously attached” (which, I assume, means they think their relationship will turn downhill any second) used text messaging to nag their partners about negative feelings, rather than talk to them face-to-face.
I’m not sure about anyone else, but if I have a gripe with my boyfriend, I tell him. To his face. Of course, we do have this odd ritual of IM-ing each other when we’re in the same room; if, and only if, his or my roommate is in the room with us. I think that’s justified, especially in the late hours (okay, so some people point out that the only late hours to a college student are between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m., but still) when we can’t go anywhere else. And being from Hawai`i, we sure aren’t going outside in the 30 degree weather just to have a heart to heart. We have our limits, you see.
But when time and space permits (which it often does) we have our most heartfelt talks with each other. Even if it’s over the phone, hearing a reaction is so much better than wondering what a reaction will be like.
I honestly think I’d react worse to seeing this neatly printed on my cell phone screen:
i r not love you anymore. so, we r ovr. bye.
than to have him face me and say,
I don’t think we’re working out the way we wanted to. I don’t love you the way I thought I did. So, this is good-bye.
Yes, I would cry in both situations. But I would wonder if I ever really meant anything to him if he didn’t respect me enough to break up with me properly. But, again, that could just be my old-fashioned tendencies.
Posted on December 6th, 2006 by Joy
Filed under: Boyfriend, Love, News, Romance
I’d cry too if I saw that on my cell phone. Look at the spelling and grammar. How could I even date someone who did that to me?
Seriously though, IMing is a good way to convey quick messages when the convenience of a phone call is not all that convenient. Like during class. Or when there’s a third party in the room and you have to say something like:
“u r t3h ho7st gr1 evr.”
Because as much as I enjoy watching people baby talk to each other, I also enjoy keeping my lunch down.
Text messaging, although convenient, should never be used to deal with serious situations. No one should put texting on the same level as a “Dear John” letter, and it’s not even in the same universe as a vis-a-vis confrontation.
Summary:
Text in the middle of the day:
“i
I think text messaging is a marvellous way to connect when a phone call isn’t. I prefer it in fact.I wish people texted more in Canada, as I just hate getting an earful of people’s supposedly private conversations where ever I happen to be travelling, and whether this is first thing in the morning going to work or coming home, it’s an invasion of what little privacy I have on the transit.
Whichever, I just wish they’d shut up. I don’t want to hear their stupid “relationship” conversations ” oh he did this and, like, I said, like.. like…” - because I don’t care. I don’t think the rest of the world does either. From where I stand? Texting that you want out is by far better if it saves ME my peace of mind… Of course the ideal is that they have their break up conversations in private, face to face, but fat chance of that happening, now that Britney has set the standard
Ah, Britney. Isn’t she a wonderful girl? Hehe. Yes, I rather people text when they have gushing conversations, too, lest I gag in front of them. But I still think the face to face break up is the best way to go.