On perspective
Differing perspectives, as proven by every war in the history of mankind, can cause unneeded grief, and, in all of those cases, death.
In relationships, differing perspectives can also prove disastrous. Or at least they could be the cause of some nasty fights. Or reasons for your girlfriend to “never let you hear the end of it for the rest of your life.”
Stuck in junior-high silly mode, our relationship creaked along with the gusto of a leaky ship that the sailors keep caulking because they just have to get somewhere. And of course, in the beginning of ninth grade, people don’t “go steady.” They just happen to like each other.
I convinced myself that I didn’t (and wouldn’t) have a boyfriend until he asked me out. Not necessarily on a date because we required Parental Units to act as temporary chauffeurs to and from the movie theatres/restaurant/each other’s homes. But I wanted an official confirmation that yes, I do have a boyfriend. And yes, we both are thinking on the same wavelengths.
Eventually, my annoyed, angered (to the point where repeat viewings of the supremely touching spaghetti-eating scene of The Lady and the Tramp would have made me hate that particular pasta for the rest of my life) self asked the poor, hapless boy out.
The scene played out like this:
“Will you go out with me?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he answered.
Which, of course, was the wrong answer. The culmination of all of nearly half a year of agonizing over phone calls trying to decipher whether or not her actually cared was a single syllable word a tight-lipped, menacing English teacher would slap you across the face for uttering.
Not until a week before graduation (three years after the initial “going out” phase began) that I found he already figured I was his girlfriend, making my six months of agonizing trivial and unnecessary. Trivial plus unnecessary equals stupid.
Stay on the same page as your boyfriend.
And I’ll get over this misstep. Obviously, we are quite happy now. But he will never hear the end of it.
Posted on July 3rd, 2006 by Joy
Filed under: Boyfriend, Love, Relationships, perspective
You have either disproved or proved one of my two hypothoses.
1) Girls are apparently not psychic. Or…
2) You are a boy, posing as a girl.
Assuming that your boyfriend is stronger than me, I have come to the conclusion that girls are not, as so widely assumed, psychic.
What I’d like to know is whether or not girls misinterpret messages more often than guys do. Based on my observations, it would seem as if girls (well…at least younger girls) have many dillemas associated with the misunderstanding of many key issues, such as who is who’s eye candy, and oggling rights over so and so.
In any case, I have never been on the “same wavelength” as anyone I’ve had the pleasure (misfortune) to engage in a relationship with. Mayhaps I need to find a quartz tuner.
-The Kit
Crossed wires are my speciality and there is nothing more frustrating than trying to explain a quirk or a subtletly that you’d really hoped and expected that he would pick up all on his own!!! But in my 31 years on earth (don’t freak out!!! It’s just a number), of which none of those have made me any the wiser…i’ve realised that you can take nothing for granted and nothing at face value. Always check and triple check that you are indeed thinking the same and don’t fall over from shock when infact one day you are actually thinking the same thing at the same time, like conjoined twins - it’s a moment to behold and you wanna be compus mentus for it!
Kit, you get more “psychic” as the relationship goes on. And I’m definitely not a girl disguised as a guy. That you would even think that disturbs me. And it didn’t have anything to do with eyecandy. And who’s who’s eye candy. But if you say so…
And spoon, I’ll make sure not to shock myself when we actually are thinking on the same wavelengths! I’ve realized I have to get over these things. Because it’s just so much easier that way, and it makes me so much happier to do so.
I re-feel a lot of situations I went through reading this. I think that women do spend a lot more time agonizing over details of teeny tiny things that happen. Even just last week I was agonizing over a very nice quiet guy who just so happened to approach me and start a conversation because in the past it’s always been the other way around.
I am sure the guy in question is not thinking nearly so hard on that little moment. With any luck I’ll gain some insight into what he was thinking at some point, I’ll get a bit of his perspective.
It’s true. He’s probably not thinking so hard, but it could be a sub-conscious type of action.